You can find anything on buildings and the resources/tech/base type required to build them here: https://www.my-colony.com/reference/
It's not that I have enough of all to get new buildings and I have a strange but with ore refineries which is can click on the upgrade button even if to doesn't appear in the list of all buildings available
But builder bots won't build it at all so what the hell am I supposed to do
If it doesn't appear in the list of available buildings then you don't have access to it yet. You are either missing the necessary tech, one or more of the resources to build it, or you haven't created the bot necessary to build it.